Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
