We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
