Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
