That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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