There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
