just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
