Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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