She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
