I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I puked a lego.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
