Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
