She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
