Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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