the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
how do you play pong handcuffed?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
