I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
