Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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