I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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