I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
