I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
