The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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