so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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