My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
