I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Do vagina's smell?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
