non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
