I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So vagazzling was a success
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
there is glitter all over my balls
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