I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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