I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
