1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
