He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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