Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
