i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
