Midget sex pt 2 tonight
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
