i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
