Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
