Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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