i think my tv is drunk
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
