Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
