FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
