if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
