Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
