I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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