Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
