Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
