I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
