Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think I sprained my soul last night
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
