nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize