Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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