If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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