I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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