I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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