508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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