dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
