O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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