why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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