The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
