Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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