Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
