you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
