just survived the first fart of the relationship.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
