he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
