i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
